Being Myself…

Old Guy Wisdom

// May 8th, 2009 // Funny

Very Interesting as long as you don’t have to experience it.

• I started out with nothing…and I still have most of it.
• When I was young, I would go out and sow my wild oats, then I would pray for a crop failure. But when did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
• I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
• All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
• If all is not lost, where is it?
• It really is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
• The first rule of holes; if you are in one, stop digging.
• I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
• Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
• A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
• Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.
• It’s not the pace of life that concerns me; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
• It’s hard to make a comeback, when you haven’t been anywhere.
• If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.
• When you’re finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

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